#DatingOver40 is my attempt to figure out this dating game at this stage in my life, hence dating over 40 years old. In full disclosure I am a 2x divorce black single woman looking for love. Simple right?
Ha, not really. In this cyber age of dating, at times I find myself out of touch. As a recent Apple IPhone user, I still struggle to install an app none the less open them and use it. I know in some regard, I am lucky to have experience real love (although not persevering) not only once but twice in my lifetime. I can honestly say I know a thing or two about love, but even still I am single.
After my last and final divorce, it took me roughly 3 years to heal. After all I loved him, I did not want to hate, loath or despise him. Since, I wanted to be open for the next love, I knew I needed to be patient and sincere with my hurt. Moving forward last year I started dating, and sharing some of the ups and downs on Facebook. In my inbox many of my single friends told me how they identified, and shared my struggle. It is in that encouragement I have birthed this page #DatingOver40.
#DatingOver40: After a few exchanges.
Him: Well, I should let you know. I am not working right now, because I am having surgery on my back. I may also be having a procedure on my knee. I might not really fit into your life style. Me: Okay, thanks for sharing. I hope you take care of that wonderful smile. Be Blessed..
My Thoughts: SHIT YOU NEED A NURSE NOT A GIRLFRIEND!
Dating OVER 40
A text convo.
Me: The weather is beautiful what is on your agenda today? Him: Nothing, now send me a pic. Note, he sent a picture of himself as if I didn't see him when we swapped #'s. Me:
April 26 ·
Over40&Dating: Some things can never really be put nicely...
Me: I applaud your honesty, but no job, no car, no home- We can never be, I am not an option, Take Care.
May 10 · Waukesha ·
DatingOver40: First Date. You hope the date last at least half as long as it takes u to put together your outfit. Oh, the drama..
May 27 ·
#DatingOver40...Funny but true story:
Him: Meet me at the Bar, lets have some drinks and get something to eat. Me: Cool.
I get there dude is damn near wasted. We convo over a shot, then we go in my car to get something to eat. This dude insist on me cooking breakfast at his house but that required a trip to Walmart. Ladies you already know wrong move. We get to the store, ya'll know- I done went grocery shopping on his ass.
Him: I ain't buying all these groceries and you not going to stay over my house.
Me: You gonna buy what ever I put in this cart. ( In my most very matter of fact voice.
We get to his apt parking lot.
Me: Hey, I gotta make a phone call, grab the grocery bags in the back seat.
Him: Yeah, Ok and tell 'em you with me tonight.
Me: See thats why I need you to step out the car, you talking too much ish.
Him: Ok. Then he gets out of the car, grabs the bags.
Me: I sat there a minute on this fake phone call, lock my doors. Before i left Rolled down my window, and told him to take his drunk ass in the house and cook his own damn breakfast. I told him at the bar that he was NEVER gonna tap dat ass. If he wasnt so drunk maybe he would have caught that I seperated all the groceries. I put all my groceries in the trunk. LOLBut since he think he know better than me...#IAINTSORRY??????
July 13 ·
DatingOver40: This story is about how small our world is, even when trying to date on this very vast digital landscape. Another true situation. I am moving and needed help packing some of my stuff esp big stuff, so I put a add on craigslist and our neighborhood website, for hourly labor. My name was not with the ad. Now my lil bro is coming to actually move me in a couple of weeks but I want my shit organized and ready to go but, moving on. Within hours I got a motherload of responses. I decided I would take them in order,and who responds the fastest. So first person, I texted back but he did not respond. On to the next person, he responded. I ask full name, availablity, etc. He responed and sent a pic. Why did I see this profile on POF a couple of weeks ago. Now that shit was funny. POF is a dating app for those who dont, know. Dont judge me, I see some of yall on there too! I just aint bustin yall out, esp those who are in relationships....(Mmmm, yeah check you mates ph). LMAO. Then the third was a young lady. So I am hiring both of them. However, MR.POF, I am not gonna reveal, to him that, I saw your profile on the site. He wasnt my type. But it will be interesting to see how, this goes down. I am going to email my landlord, everyone's info and have her just make a suprise stop by my apartment for my own safety. But small world right? LOL. If you ain't laughing by now you should be!!!???
Hollaback Coffee was feeling fabulous.
August 18 at 10:57am ·
#DatingOver40: Him: You remind me of a jazz song Sweet Brown Suga. Me: Smiles, is that a good thing? Him: Enthusiastically, Yes! But I don't want to cross that line with you. Me: Don't bc I will take all ya damn $. He ? then asked was I Sagittarius? Me: No,Aquarius. Him: yeah…See more Me: Don't bc I will take all ya damn $. He asked was I Sagittarius? Me: No,Aquarius. Him: yeah you will have me in my feelings. Me: yup you'll be In here Crying. Him?then he said but I'm a Old man? Me:with a devious smile,I reply yes the perfect victim.
August 5 at 5:48pm ·
DatingOver40#: I understand counting the money but don't count mines, at least not out loud. Him: You got on diamonds and shit...Me: SMH. It's time to go b4 I get jacked. Lol. My cousins say I need to turn DatingOver40 into a blog, what ya'll think? I say famo ya'll hook up your single…See more
April 3 at 9:16am ·
Datingover40:Him: So how long you been single? Me: About 2yrs. Then later I do the math, shit, I been divorce 5 years. However, it dawned on me that I have only been emotionally and spiritually free for the last 2years. I spent 3+ damn years in misery. My date didn't have a clue where my happiness came from in that moment, but I did. In my mind I was thanking God for delivering me.Later Feelings of relief, graitude, and peace just rained over me then I had to call my bestie Summer Day Hillman bc we just roll like dat.
#DatingOver40: About Sat, at the bar, I was my cuzo wing(wo)man. It was too funny. Me: Naw cuz, she dont even have on the proper underwear. Lol. In my mind: Sorry, at our age, you should know how to dress yourself. Next, situation...you been talking to that girl like, 25 mins- You owe her drink, shit she probably got a dry mouth talking to you. Another moment: This beautiful little latina woman comes us to me, interrupts a guy who was trying to talk to me. She was like hey, blah blah- ( I really didnt hear her the music was too loud) but I did hear the man. He said- Who is you? State your name? Who is you? I was shocked, my face said it all. I flipped a switch, "I was like, hold up? Dude, you are way out of line!" Then he, was taken back,changed his tune. He apoligized then turned to me and said, I knew it was something I liked about you. Lets go to the bar and get shots. I declined, and said I was done drinking for the night. I was just chilling. He went on and said, come on...whats another, I got both of ya'll. I told the Ms.Beautiful to go to the bar with him and get that shot. He owed her a drink for his nastyness. She paused, and decided to go get that drink. As she walked toward the bar, she broke rank came back and said- Just so you know, I wanted you not him! Then she walked away. I was like, I be damn. Needless to say we had a wild night!- I swear I am getting to old for this shit. I am missing my own signals. LOL
#DatingOver40...Now it’s been a minute since I saw this dude. Him: What you doin’ tonight? Laundry, Barber & gym. Him: Laughing, awe you still going to gym? Me: Yeah, and u still calling me on your gov’ phone. Now, I am laughing. Since he got jokes...Him: I want you to go out with me for New Years. I ain’t doing shit but I say let me get back to you. We exchange pleasantries and get off the phone. He was good people, can step and kinda fun... but the problem is...That New Years Eve kiss. Lol, I don’t think I could squirm my way out of it, ?. Really, I was just not that into him. Oh the drama. I think I gotta pass on this invite or just get wasted. Lol. I know my answer but what y’all think?